Breaking up is hard to do. Unless there’s a big catalyst for a break up, such as infidelity or a fight, it can sometimes be impossible to know when you should just fight through it or when it’s really better to just end the relationship.
You’re no longer feeling the spark.
Every couple goes through ebbs and flows with their physical relationship. Your lives get more hectic and you’re not always going to be consistent in your physicality. But if you don’t feel sexually attracted to your partner at all anymore, it could be worth considering an end to your relationship.
“If you’ve slowly turned into ‘just friends,’ or roommates, and the sexual chemistry is long gone and you know it isn’t coming back, it’s time to break up,” Bennett(relationship expert) told us. “While it may seem shallow to focus on it, a lack of sexual activity leads to relationship frustration, resentment, and even cheating, and it usually only gets worse over time.”
There are a million things that could be causing a low-level on interest in sex, so it’s worth noting that you should think about that as well. But if it’s on the thought of sex with YOUR partner that turns you off, that could be a kiss of death.
Life is too short to be with someone you’re just not into. Unsplash/Rahul Anil
You’re emotionally cheating on them.
Who has not seen a stranger on public transportation and admired their hot face? Old habits die hard, so it’s OK to have the occasional pang of attraction for another person, even if you’re in a relationship.
But if you’re developing romantic feelings for a co-worker or getting jealous when your attractive friend has a new love interest, you could be emotionally cheating on your significant other, and that’s a big sign that your current relationship is D.O.A.
“If you always find yourself excited to share the details of your day, or your innermost feelings or problems, with someone who isn’t your partner, it’s time to break up,” Bennett said. “If your partner isn’t the person deserving of these details and emotional connection, then it’s best for both of you to move on.”
Your partner deserves someone who will still put them first and someone who is genuinely attracted to them, and you deserve a relationship with someone you feel that way about. It’s fairer to both of you if you break things off before a crush turns into a full-blown affair.
Everyone in your life cannot stand them.
It’s natural for the people in your life to butt heads, so if your partner doesn’t see eye to eye with a friend or two, that can be worked on. But if most or all of the people who are important to you would love nothing more than for your partner to fall off of the surface of the planet, that’s a big red flag.
“Since your family and friends aren’t infatuated [with your partner], their analysis of your partner is probably more accurate than you might think,” Bennett told (relationship expert) INSIDER. “If everyone who matters to you thinks your partner is bad news for you, it’s time to break up.”
Of course it’s always possible that you’re surrounded by literally no good people, but the probability is much higher that your partner is just not right for you. Time to break it off.